In my line of work, as a relationship expert, I am afforded the opportunity to meet some of the most amazing people you will ever cross paths with; all of whom collectively, represent the full spectrum of the human experience. Many of these individuals, have incredible stories of success and triumph, amid backdrops riddled with setbacks. Throughout my work, I frequently find myself assisting people that are quietly (and not so quietly) envied for the level of notoriety and wealth they have amassed, or in other cases, I find myself sitting with groups of women who are fighting their way back for the brink of complete “nothingness” (no job, no home, and a series of broken relationships). Yet, these two wholly divergent groups share way more in common than they differ. There is one fundamental truth that seems to effectively bind each of these groups together in both success and failure, PERSPECTIVE. How we look at our challenges has everything to do with the way we rise from our fall.
Will you rise bitter or will you rise better?
What’s interesting about the notion of “bitter” verses “better” is that the words themselves only differ by ONE letter, but yield completely different outcomes. WHY? Why does an “I” verses and “E” make such a huge difference? It’s because no matter what your fall was, what your hurt was, what your experience was, you get to choose what you take away from it.
So what is the real difference between these two words? What is the hidden, priceless truth?
Let me tell you…
The I in BITTER is INJURY. People who repeat failures over and over, choose a victim perspective. They choose to focus on what was done to them. Is the only thing you chose to take away from the difficult moments in your life, injury, hurt or pain? If that is the case, you will never grow. You will never be more than the harm done, and nothing good can come from that. Nothing.
People who consistently achieve success, even after setback, choose to focus on what can now be done THROUGH them. They seek to be smarter because of the failure. That’s because the E in BETTER is EDUCATION. What did you learn from your experience? Every failure, every hurt, every negative experience has a valuable lesson woven deep inside of it. Find it! Take that, and only that with you, as you move on. Trash the luggage and treasure the lesson!
What every truly successful person understands, in life and in love…is that who we are after failure, is even more important than who we were before. We don’t have any control over what happens around us, but we have complete control over what happens in us. Will you rise bitter or better?
The choice is yours.
Choose your perspective wisely!
~A.L.